By Marc S. Axelrod
No one likes the name you give your kid.
Forget about your parents liking the name you pick for their grandchild.
Doesn’t matter what it is. They’ll think you’re nuts.
Unless it was the name they suggested.
But let’s be real, you’ll never use anything they suggest in a million years.
This is an unavoidable situation that happens every time a kid is in the oven.
Friends, and even people you don’t like, will ask you with a smile what you’re going to name that unsuspecting little embryo.
When you tell them, they’ll say something like, “Oh, that’s nice.” Then they’ll turn to each other and roll their eyes.
Why?
Because they’d never do that to their kid.
I pretty quickly recognized that this was something I no longer wanted to deal with during my wife’s first pregnancy with our son, Daryl.
So when anyone asked me what his name will be, I simply replied with a straight face, Baba Ram Dass.
That shut them up.
This was early 1982 and, in case you don’t know, Baba Ram Dass was a prominent Harvard psychologist and psychedelic pioneer along with Dr. Timothy Leary. Ram Dass was born Richard Alpert in 1931. A nice Jewish boy who did good.
Why couldn’t I name my kid after him?
No. We didn’t.
But that didn’t stop people from rolling their eyes at the name Daryl.
“Daryl??? What kind of name is that?” my Uncle Mutty asked (look who’s talking).
One basketball friend of mine joked that the kid would grow up to be a black 6 ft. 11-in. center in the NBA. (Sports fans know we’re talking Darryl Dawkins of the Nets at the time).
Our Daryl is now a still white 6 ft. 1-in. Professor at Florida International University. Although, as an avid basketball fan, he would probably have preferred to play in the NBA.
He was the only Daryl in any of his classes in school. And, as far as he has found, the only Daryl Axelrod in the world. Wasn’t our intent, but he’s pretty unique besides the solitary name.
Whereas, many of his contemporaries were included in the “J Trend” that was going on at the time.
If he was with a group of kids and I shouted out, “Hey, Jason,” most of the boys would turn to answer. The rest of the kids would be made up of several Joshes, a few Jennifers, assorted Jessicas, and a Justin or two.
Don’t know why that happens, but it does.
Check out the Most Popular Baby Names. It’s almost the same year after year.
Why? Aren’t there enough names in the world to go around?
We Jews honor our passed family members by choosing a name for our children based on the same first letter.
Daryl was named after my wife’s grandfather Daniel. Both my grandfathers were Samuel. So our daughter became Samantha. And I like that some friends call her Sam, which is what we called my grandfathers.
I have become aware of the practice of some Christian families using the same name generation after generation.
My son-in-law Eddie’s family is ripe with Mathews. Three generations in a row and counting, father to son to son. Also, Edward and Peter are everywhere in that family.
I wasn’t used to that at first, but it is pretty neat to see the closeness that creates.
Does it really matter in the end what name you’re given? If you hate it, you can change it. Some do.
Julian Lennon, John Lennon’s son, was originally John Charles Julian Lennon but all his life known as Julian.
He did not like being called John Lennon when it happened now and again. Understandable. Talk about being compared to your legacy.
He recently changed his name legally to Julian Charles John Lennon.
He’s still Lennon’s son and a musician in his own rite, but he now owns his own identity.
Know who you are. Be who you are. And if you don’t think your name suits who you are, find one that does.
Baba Ram Dass did.
Do you think his parents and grandparents liked his new name?