By Marc S. Axelrod
We’ve all been through it.
Disappointment at not getting or losing that thing you really wanted.
A college that rejected you, a job that was perfect for you, the lover that you knew made your life complete.
The list goes on and on.
But it may be a good thing, after all.
Sounds pretty stupid, right?
Maybe not so much.
How could losing things you knew were going to make you happy, improve your life, make you rich (at least a little richer), make you famous (for at least 15 minutes), or bring you everything you ever wanted be a good thing?
Well, the first thing is, who says you were right? You do, but if you think you’re never wrong, then you have other problems to deal with.
Not only could getting what you wanted then not have given you what you thought it would, but maybe you would have been worse off.
Admit it, things don’t always turn out the way we expect.
No slam dunks in life.
Next, you need to realize that life changing events that don’t happen are still life changing.
Ok, now you think I’m really reaching. But hang on.
Not changing your path is as impactful as changing it because either way you’re going in a different direction from the other and you ultimately wind up in a different place.
So where did you wind up?
Before you answer that, understand that the basic assumption here is that you are not now a miserable grump who completely hates their life. As they say in some installation guides, if you are, then skip this step.
In fact, skip this whole discussion. You need more cheering up than I can give you here.
One place you didn’t wind up is with that lost lover. We all have “the one that got away”. You might still have not quite gotten over that.
But remember who lost that lover. Some kid about a million years ago, maybe in their twenties or thirties, who was you back then and who (you now know) didn’t have a clue about a lot of things, love and life included.
Would you take that person’s advice now as to who you should spend the rest of your life with?
Probably not.
And what would have happened if you didn’t lose her or him and never married the spouse you wound up with, or didn’t get rejected by that school you wanted to go to, or got that great job you wanted that would have taken you away from your current life path.
It’s not really what would have happened that’s important, it’s what would not have happened.
Look around you at all the things you have that you love.
Look closer. At the child or children you produced.
Look closer still at those sweet, beautiful grandchildren you love more than anything.
Could you even imagine not ever having them? It’s painful just to think about it.
If you hadn’t lost back then, you wouldn’t have what you have now.
Those disappointments you suffered wound up giving you the best of what you have in your life.
You won.
You got more than you could ever have imagined.
Now go enjoy your kids and grandkids and the life that produced them even more.