By Marc S. Axelrod

 

Grandpaws are from Mars, Grandmas are from Venus. 

With my apologies to John Gray, Ph.D who wrote the vastly popular Mars/Venus book, I have to say the basic premise still holds true now that we aren’t just “men” and “women”. 

We’re grandparents.  We’re old (or is that just older?).  But we’re still the same… in that we’re different. 

So what does that mean for us now?

A lot, really. 

Grandparenting is a new experience and we two different genders process it quite differently.  We both love those little things more than we could have imagined.  That’s a given. 

But that’s where the road divides and we each go our separate ways. 

We’re different, so don’t expect me to act and feel like you do, Grandma.  And I won’t expect the same of you.   

Think about it. 

Grandpaw just came home from taking care of his precious little granddaughter for the day.  Maybe she’s two.  Grandma rushes over to him and expectantly asks, “Did she eat?”

His answer: “Yes.”

Not good enough.  She’ll badger him until he gives it all up.  What did he give her, how did he make it, how much did she take, why didn’t he give her this and, of course, why didn’t he give her that? 

When Grandma comes home from taking care of the precious little one, Grandpaw rushes over to her and expectantly asks, “What’s for dinner?”

Does he not care about the little darling?  Of course, he does, but he’s hungry. 

Oh, and he’s not concerned about what the day’s menu consisted of because he’s secure in the fact that Grandma stuffed that kid like a turkey.  It doesn’t even cross his mind to ask. 

Worst case, she’ll eat tomorrow. 

Occasionally, when I speak to my friends who are also grandfathers, we’ll talk about how our grandkids are doing.  It goes like this, “How are your grandkids doing?”

The answer: “Great.  They’re the best. And how about those Yankees.” 

I have personally witnessed conversations where Grammy talked with friends who were also grandmothers.  It went like this: “So how is your wonderful little Pick A Name doing?”

The answer: Forget it.  If I transcribed the conversation, you would be reading a book now instead of this.  Hours of the minutest details about burping or teething or baby clothes or toddler stuff or all the things you can imagine.  And some I can’t. 

Why?

Because we’re different.  John Gray said men tend to do things on their own and don’t seek out other’s confirmation.  They also go right to the point when communicating.  It’s what we do. 

Whereas women work more cooperatively and seek validation and counsel from what others are doing.  They also enjoy talking and listening more than men. 

We’re not wrong.  They’re not wrong. 

To keep the peace here on Earth, let’s all appreciate how our partners approach grandparenting. 

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